September 15, 2132
According to a recent study conducted by Harvard University, it is now literally impossible for a student to write an essay pertaining to the themes or symbolism in the popular F. Scott Fitzgerald novel The Great Gatsby without it technically being considered plagiarism.
"I’ve had a number of instances where students would ‘accidentally’ plagiarize another piece of work," says Eugene Smith, an English professor. "Sometimes what they write just happens to be almost identical to what someone else wrote. This was less of a problem earlier in the century, but lately… every essay seems identical to one I’ve already read before."
The study claims that, due to the sheer quantity of papers written on The Great Gatsby, there are “virtually no formations of words pertaining to symbolism and/or theme in The Great Gatsby that have not already been written at least once. Henceforth, any organization of words about the aforementioned novel will, inevitably, bare enough resemblance to at least one, but probably many more, previous writings on the subject, and would therefore technically be considered plagiarism. It’s now linguistically impossible to say anything about The Great Gatsby that has not already been said multiple times, almost verbatim, no matter what.”
One English teacher, who wished to remain anonymous, said that he gave up entering students’ essays into plagiarism detecting programs, as they always showed up multiple results, dating back for decades, even when no conscious plagiarism was performed.
Teachers are currently debating whether to finally remove The Great Gatsby from the curriculum, as there is now “literally nothing left to say about it.”"
Symbolism, Theme Essays on The Great Gatsby Literally Impossible To Not Plagiarize, Says Recent Study
The Wishwashington Post
this is the single greatest image on the internet
Are you trying to kill me
I didn’t ask for this.
I tried this on a female before.
She took the bottom-middle donut that says “GIRL” and handed the box back to me, leaving me with 5 donuts that read “Will you be my friend?”
*tips fedora in shame* friendzoned again by another succubus
this story makes me laugh and cry
mother fucker you are standing on lava and are on fire get the fuck out of there
i couldnt find my headphones and its late at night
solution: get a stethoscope and put it up to the speaker with the computer on low volume
if i cant find my headphones what makes you think im going to find a stethoscope just lying around
one time i was laughing with my sister and i said haha hokey pokey is kinda like sex. in out in out shake it all about. and she just looked at me dead in the eyes and ‘you put your right leg in’